Recently I had a bit of a "run-in" with a lady from my chorus group. She decided that Nod was too cold and took her out of her chair... then when I came back to the room she gave me a huge lecture about how I wasn't keeping her warm enough (this is not the first time this women has said this) . The fact that the lady wants Nod to be warmer is not the problem though... it was the fact that when I tried to take her back, the Lady didnt want to give her back! She lectured me about being able to keep her wearm, and said she could only give her back IF I kept her under my jacket etc etc... and I wanted to HIT this lady! The only reason I refrained was because I might have hurt the baby! WOW! I really never ever want this women to hold my baby again!
I went back home in a sour mood and explained everything to Blinken. He suggested that I start giving Nod a bottle and leave he home with him. So I gave a call to good ol MotheR Goose (MRG), and asked many many questions. She always has so much for me to learn about babies. I thought her advice was soo good that all my friends should hear it too!
She suggested that I keep bringing Nod... not particularly because bottle-feeding is bad (which is what I thought might be the case) but because Nod needs to be with me as much as she can. We all remember being young right... when an hour seeemd like forever, and our birthdays were an ETERNITY away! MRG's thinks this is because children haven't been alive for very long... so an hour in their life is worth alot more than an hour in my life. I know that an hour isnt very long cause I've had MILLIONS of hours in my life... but children haven't had as many. I have been on earth approx 20x longer than Nod. So an hour to me, is like 20 hours to her. According to MRG's theory, Moms need to be with their babes as much as possible in the first few years of their life, so they can grow to trust us. All they know is that they have been living inside their Mom for 9months, and they still think they are a part of us! I used to leave Nod at home with Blinken sometimes, and go have a break... my plan would be to stay gone until I thought it was time for her to eat... BUT Blinken would always call and tell me Nod was upset and must be hungry cause he couldnt get her to calm down. I always thought it was because she was sleepy and he didn't know how to put her to sleep. I would come home and calm her down and try and "teach" him how to do it better. But what Nod needed was MOM... and nothing Blink does is going to be able to calm her when she is looking for Mom. So Im going to try and bring her with me more. I think a lot of middle-aged and older women think this is being over-protective, but really it's fostering good development in your baby... and strengthening babies trust with mom.
MRG did have an interesting idea for when babe needs to be with daddy and be calmed by him, which was to have blink lay a shirt of mine on his chest under the baby, so she will smell me and feel comforted. Just because baby and I need to be together a lot doesn't mean to leave Daddy Blink outta the picture! MotheR Goose said to give her to Blink when she's awake and happy and can build a good relationship with him... but when she can still come back to me if she needs.
Have you ever heard that letting a baby cry is good for their lungs? yah, me too... from my Mom. Now, did you know that My Mom is an OLD WIFE!!! Cause the whole crying = lung development thing is AN OLD WIVES TALE!!! {hahaha love ya mom!} Now this time, MotheR Goose's wisdom is actually backed up by alot of research. Cause science (and MRG) says thatif you pick up your baby quickly every time it cries in the first year, then in the second year baby will cry 50% less... and If you DONT than baby will cry 50% more in the second year. Some people think this is spoiling your child (Blink even thought this before we read some studies online). But when a baby is soo soo small they don't understand how to "manipulate". They don't think like toddlers, who will cry to get attention. Babies cry because they are hungry, sad, sleepy, dirty... very basic needs. All they can do is cry, they dont have words yet. So it is very important to respond to them positively when they cry! This way they learn to trust you, they know you will protect them and care for them. They will be more emotionally stable adults. One study that Blink and I read on-line actually said that letting a baby "cry it out" ruins brain development!
http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html
Anyways, MotheR Goose is as wise as ever. She was with me when I gave birth to little Nod and has been helpful from the beginning!*Just wanted to share a litle bit of her advice with all of you.
Oh and if anyone wants to know what Ive decided to do about crazy lady from chorus... Ive decided to bring Nod AND a babysitter. that way I can spend time with the baby between songs, but if she cries when we are practicing I can have the sitter hold her. that way NONE of the ladies will need to old her.
Cause By Golly... If that Lady EVER refuses to give me MY baby back... She is going to be SERIOUSLY wounded!
*Now My praise for MotheR Goose and her wisdom is IN NO WAY a stab against anyone else who helps us and gives us advice... My Mom, Blinks Mom, and numerous others have also been helpful, btu today is not their blog today... today was for Mother Goose... sorry Guys*
