I was just in the middle of writing this blog full of complaints about life and loss and everything... then, through a friends blog, I came across this. Now Im headed downstairs to hold my little miracle. You know, I was shocked to find out I was pregnant. Shocked. I honestly thought I was going to have a tough time getting pregnant, but three months married and the test said yes... yes... a baby. I remember a couple months later, the phone call from the doctors office- a girl. I couldn't be more happy. Now that things arent really going the way I expected, I get so frustrated... Sometimes I wish i had more help, sometimes I wish I had someone to share her with, sometimes I wonder why Heavenly Father gave me this child when He knew we would end up without D. Tonight though, tonight I just say a prayer of thanks for my angel. She is my light. She took me from darkness, she delivers me from the evil that surrounds. I do not know if i could have been this strong if I didnt have her to fight for. I am sorry that D does not get to share this with me, sorry for him. She truly is a wonderful and special child of God.

"And again I say unto you as I have said before, that as ye have come to the knowledge of the glory of God, or if ye have known of his goodness and have ^atasted of his love, and have received a ^bremission of your sins, which causeth such exceedingly great joy in your souls, even so I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own ^cnothingness, and his ^dgoodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even in the depths of ^ehumility, ^fcalling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing ^gsteadfastly in the faith of that which is to come" Mosiah 4:11

I dont think that by "nothingness" we are meant to think less of ourselves, but to understand how lost we would be withou our Lord. I am watching it firsthand, I have the Lord and I have everything. I watch others leave the fold and lose everything. I am full of gratitude for my little girl, whose kisses and hugs and smiles are constantly reminding me of the Lord's great Love for me.