Giveaway!

No not from me... those will come tho

This one is from inspiremebaby... 

They are giving away a fabulous photgraphy about how to pose a newborn for a shoot... I dont know if youre into photography, but I am! What a fun giveaway!

click on that TODAY cause its the LAST day for this awesome giveaway!

Get your Alma 17 buddy!!

So my dad, he is very spiritual man. This is one of my favorite things about him! He loves the scriptures and other good books and is constantly reading and being enlightened. I hope that when my little Nod gets a bit bigger I can peruse a bit more in his library and get some good reads myself! Im excited to become more spiritual like him as I read my scriptures and other good books, and get to know the Savior.

When my Dad was younger (probably 20 years ago or more) he made a pact with one of his friends to read the Book of Mormon daily. We just went to BC and spent some time with this old friend- He and my Dad have never forgotten a day since... EVER! Isnt that amazing! I wish I could say that about myself!! Dads friend told us that he calls dad his "alma 17 buddy"... heres why. (I added the red and bold to make my point)



"And now it came to pass that as Alma was journeying from the land of Gideon southward, away to the land of ^aManti, behold, to his astonishment, he ^bmet with the ^csons of Mosiah journeying towards the land of Zarahemla.

  2 Now these sons of Mosiah were with Alma at the time the angel ^afirst appeared unto him; therefore Alma did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren; and what added more to his joy, they were still his brethren in the Lord; yea, and they had waxed strong in the knowledge of the truth; for they were men of a sound understanding and they had ^bsearched the scriptures diligently, that they might know the word of God.

  3 But this is not all; they had given themselves to much prayer, and ^afasting; therefore they had the spirit of prophecy, and the spirit of revelation, ...

  4 And they had been teaching the word of God ... having had much ^asuccess in bringing many to the ^bknowledge of the truth; ...

  5 ... they had many afflictions; they did suffer much, both in body and in mind, such as hunger, thirst and fatigue, and also much ^alabour in the spirit." Alma 17:1-5

Dad and his friend were just like the sons of Mosiah and Alma. They rejoiced when they saw each other, and they were even more happy to know that both of them had stayed true to this promise to read the Book of Mormon. Through their reading, and fasting, and prayer they both have come to know the Lord. They both are striving to teach what they have learned to others (dads an institute teacher and his friend is on High Council). They both had sorrows to share, but also joys... joys in the gospel and sharing it!

Anyways, after hearing about all of this -well Ive know about the deal my whole life- but after hearing the friend call Dad his alma 17 buddy I decided to find my own! Ive been thinking a lot about it, and praying about who I should ask. Tuesday night I was out with a good friend and she was struggling and I felt impressed to invite her to the challenge. I dont think she will be the only one I ask though, shouldnt everyone have this great oppourtunity? So, I am extending this to all of my readers... Find yourself an Alma 17 buddy... and if you want it can be me! Send me a message so I know, and when we see eachother next we can rejoice that we are still sisters and brothers in Christ.

Love to All

Wink

I was just in the middle of writing this blog full of complaints about life and loss and everything... then, through a friends blog, I came across this. Now Im headed downstairs to hold my little miracle. You know, I was shocked to find out I was pregnant. Shocked. I honestly thought I was going to have a tough time getting pregnant, but three months married and the test said yes... yes... a baby. I remember a couple months later, the phone call from the doctors office- a girl. I couldn't be more happy. Now that things arent really going the way I expected, I get so frustrated... Sometimes I wish i had more help, sometimes I wish I had someone to share her with, sometimes I wonder why Heavenly Father gave me this child when He knew we would end up without D. Tonight though, tonight I just say a prayer of thanks for my angel. She is my light. She took me from darkness, she delivers me from the evil that surrounds. I do not know if i could have been this strong if I didnt have her to fight for. I am sorry that D does not get to share this with me, sorry for him. She truly is a wonderful and special child of God.

"And again I say unto you as I have said before, that as ye have come to the knowledge of the glory of God, or if ye have known of his goodness and have ^atasted of his love, and have received a ^bremission of your sins, which causeth such exceedingly great joy in your souls, even so I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own ^cnothingness, and his ^dgoodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even in the depths of ^ehumility, ^fcalling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing ^gsteadfastly in the faith of that which is to come" Mosiah 4:11

I dont think that by "nothingness" we are meant to think less of ourselves, but to understand how lost we would be withou our Lord. I am watching it firsthand, I have the Lord and I have everything. I watch others leave the fold and lose everything. I am full of gratitude for my little girl, whose kisses and hugs and smiles are constantly reminding me of the Lord's great Love for me.

Oh How I Love a Good Picture!!

 here are two of the fabulous photos from our family shoot! Brittany Curry is so talented! check her out on Facebook... Brittany Curry Photography!

you can check the rest of mine out on my facebook account if you want- I just wanted a little more privacy so my friends can see all of them on my profile- Once again, Thanks Britt!

Calling all Divorcees!

I am NOT having fun filing for this divorce (not atht i thought it would be fun haha). I bought a divorce kit because D and I seemed to agree on everything as far as custody and such goes. Then last week he called and told me more about what he wants... and now the search for a Lawyer begins. He wants to be able to provide "spiritual guidance" for Nod, and wants it written in the contract! Whatever, that is the whole reason I am leaving him, so that he doesn't have spiritual involvement in her life! He thinks Im going to ... how did he put it... something like brainwash her, but he used a different word. Honestly, no matter how i raise her, sh will still have agency to choose another way, he obviously did.

I know that the Lord will provide a way, and although I am frustrated with D, I am not afraid of the situation. It will be years before she is old enough to understand anything he says, and by then Im sure I will have custody and everything worked out so that she is as safe as possible (spiritually, physically, emotionally).

However, now I turn to you- whomever you may be- for advice. Im looking for a good lawyer. This Lawyer would hopefully be a person of faith (not necessarilyof my faith, just a believer in something bigger than them-self), and hopefully someone who could take on a probono case... considering Im a stay at home single mom and my only income is my child tax benefit and little crafts I sell. anybody know anybody who knows anybody?

Ok, well off to my ToDo list. the most depressing list too, considering its pretty much all about the divorce. But hey, once this is over, its over, and that will be a relief!! For those of you who don't have advice in this matter, don't worry, we also need prayers! Lots and Lots and LOTS!



Thank you for the prayers you have already prayed, and those that will be coming... and all other support we have been given on this journey.

Love Winken

Just thinking here. Not having the best week ever. I just really miss my life. I miss having a best friend/partner/love! Nod is having a tough time sleeping, which also leaves me sleep deprived... And I wish I had a husband to take a shift! D was always so good at that kinda thing... Well not so good at calming her down, but good at giving me a break.

I also miss having someone to lay in bed with and talk to at night. It's a lonely life now. Brosie is cute and fun, but the only word she can say is "dada" which is actually quite depressing for me.

Gosh, I hate complaining. I need to get over this! You know what? Everyone has it hard! That's the way life is supposed to be! I read recently "happiness depends on our responses to the difficulties in life". So true! Happiness comes from within... We all have these difficulties... my job is to learn to overcome this trial!

The other day I made some comment on facebook about missing my life. Nine of my friends responded to it encouraging me... and ya know what... None of them have it easy!  Three of them have been single moms, atleast three others suffer from depression, two have children with dissabilities, one has an extremly sick and unhappy toddler, one had to place a baby for adoption, and one recently lost her mother. None of their trials are any easier than mine. I don't really want to trade places with them.

Divorce, or being "alone" is the one thing I never thought I could do. I contemplated it a year ago (when things first changed for D), but thought that even if it was the right thing, it was impossible for me. What a blessing this is for me! Now I will be able to know that I can do anything. I really can... With the Lord of course. He makes me stronger than imaginable. Now I cannot doubt His power, for He has lifted me through. The Savior has given me wings. What a blessing that my testimony is able to grow like this.

Now this is more like it! This is the right attitude. *sigh* sorry if I was all over the place with this post, I just had to write myself through this. I guess I could go edit now, but I like it this way. Rough and uncut, the real me.

In conclusion? Yeah I still miss D and my old life. I miss my friends back there, my sisters, my ward, and those darn cute kids next door! But, it's worth it. Its worth giving up all of that to know my Savior better. I just need to remember this post when the down times come, as I'm sure they will.

How are you getting to know your Savior better? I'd love to hear... Post a comment!!

Some Important Shopping To Do

Last night for Institute we studied Elder D. Todd Christofferson's conference talk. To start off the class we watched one of those "mormon messages" that he had been featured in. There were only four of us in class so far, four girls, and most of the girls giggled as they saw that the video clip was entitled "Let Us Be Men". My dad (our teacher) pointed out that it was just as important for us girls, if not more so, to know what makes great men.He warned us to be careful that we choose this kind of man, a Christ-like man, as we "shop" around for that most important commodity, a husband. The way my dad put it "shop around" is kind of funny, and it gave me an idea... a little analogy I thought I would share about my experiences lately.

 Passing the safety inspection does not a good vehicle make... but does it make a good date?

Divorce is an interesting thing. I thought it would make me miserable, but actually I couldn't be more wrong.When you are doing the right thing, life is good! When I was with D, I did my best to make things work. I was constantly worrying about church, and his testimony, and his problems. I had to wake him up in the afternoon so he didnt sleep all day, I had to encourage him to work so we could pay bills... I had a lot of stress on me! Now that we have decided on divorce, a lot of my stresses have been taken away. The separation hasnt been easy, it has been gray and foundation-less... But knowing it will end in divorce is knowing there will be an end to the madness! It is exciting to know that life will go on, and that this will make me stronger. It is enlightening to know that I get to try again, and do better this time.

And, to be honest, trying again means dating again. Dating can be scary and miserable, but when you date right it can be exhilarating (or so I'm told )! Obviously I can't date yet, I've got a couple more months till the whole divorce thing goes through (my goal is September) .. But I have been open to get to know new people.

This getting to know phase is great! When I meet a guy I can be as open and honest as I want. There is no pressure to go on a date, cause I cant! I just get to ask questions and weed through all the duds. After my dad used the word shopping, I decided to compare dating to shopping for a car. During this time I get to run the men i meet through a "safety inspection" of sorts and decide if they will be "road safe" or date safe in the future.

And Im learning already! It seems that passing a safety inspection is not enough anymore... or maybe it was never enough and I just thought it was. I mean, just because a car can brake does not mean it has the horse power to speed out of a dangerous situation!!  So I ask all sorts of questions, all the right questions too.. and so far Ive been given the right answers usually. At first I thought it was the answers that mattered, but that's what got me into trouble before!! A safety check is too easy, everyone knows what they are supposed to answer. D knew the right answers when we were dating, but that didnt mean he had his own real testimony of Christ.

Behind the answers lies a person! A person who is becoming something! Becoming a safe, or unsafe "vehicle".... or as Elder Christofferson said, becoming more or less like Christ. I recently got to know one person who got every question right. At first I was enthusiastic, thinking this was awesome!! He was attractive, funny, and had a great truck (yes I am a sucker for a nice truck haha). But as we talked, I became unsure about how safe a date he would be. Did he have the extra safety features Im looking for? He passed the safety check, but he what about an ABS brake system, or airbags, or a good loud horn, or the right kind of horse power.

 I went into this divorce situation expecting to find that nobody would be interested in a single mom.... but (and lets go back to our car shopping analogy again) found this really attractive mustang convertable! It had power steering, power locks, power windows... All the bells and whistles... But safety features? I really dont think so! I lamented a while about the mustang... but how safe is a mustang when you've got a baby? I think I'll be looking for one of those safer mini vans instead. My sister thinks maybe a mustnag can turn into a minivan (haha) but Im not so sure. Thats kind of what happened with D right? I was picky, but some small details I looked over, I thought our love could withstand anything... and if it had been founded in christ than it would have! ... but i think I'll be even pickier while car shopping this time.

Yeah it may be a dumb analogy, but I thought I'd share anyways. I sure hope that me talking about dating again doesnt offend anyone.... but it is really going to happen again, if I was never going to date again, I could have just stayed with D, but the point here is to be married in the temple, and I need to look for someone who can take us there.

Love you all!

Winken ;)