Some Important Shopping To Do

Last night for Institute we studied Elder D. Todd Christofferson's conference talk. To start off the class we watched one of those "mormon messages" that he had been featured in. There were only four of us in class so far, four girls, and most of the girls giggled as they saw that the video clip was entitled "Let Us Be Men". My dad (our teacher) pointed out that it was just as important for us girls, if not more so, to know what makes great men.He warned us to be careful that we choose this kind of man, a Christ-like man, as we "shop" around for that most important commodity, a husband. The way my dad put it "shop around" is kind of funny, and it gave me an idea... a little analogy I thought I would share about my experiences lately.

 Passing the safety inspection does not a good vehicle make... but does it make a good date?

Divorce is an interesting thing. I thought it would make me miserable, but actually I couldn't be more wrong.When you are doing the right thing, life is good! When I was with D, I did my best to make things work. I was constantly worrying about church, and his testimony, and his problems. I had to wake him up in the afternoon so he didnt sleep all day, I had to encourage him to work so we could pay bills... I had a lot of stress on me! Now that we have decided on divorce, a lot of my stresses have been taken away. The separation hasnt been easy, it has been gray and foundation-less... But knowing it will end in divorce is knowing there will be an end to the madness! It is exciting to know that life will go on, and that this will make me stronger. It is enlightening to know that I get to try again, and do better this time.

And, to be honest, trying again means dating again. Dating can be scary and miserable, but when you date right it can be exhilarating (or so I'm told )! Obviously I can't date yet, I've got a couple more months till the whole divorce thing goes through (my goal is September) .. But I have been open to get to know new people.

This getting to know phase is great! When I meet a guy I can be as open and honest as I want. There is no pressure to go on a date, cause I cant! I just get to ask questions and weed through all the duds. After my dad used the word shopping, I decided to compare dating to shopping for a car. During this time I get to run the men i meet through a "safety inspection" of sorts and decide if they will be "road safe" or date safe in the future.

And Im learning already! It seems that passing a safety inspection is not enough anymore... or maybe it was never enough and I just thought it was. I mean, just because a car can brake does not mean it has the horse power to speed out of a dangerous situation!!  So I ask all sorts of questions, all the right questions too.. and so far Ive been given the right answers usually. At first I thought it was the answers that mattered, but that's what got me into trouble before!! A safety check is too easy, everyone knows what they are supposed to answer. D knew the right answers when we were dating, but that didnt mean he had his own real testimony of Christ.

Behind the answers lies a person! A person who is becoming something! Becoming a safe, or unsafe "vehicle".... or as Elder Christofferson said, becoming more or less like Christ. I recently got to know one person who got every question right. At first I was enthusiastic, thinking this was awesome!! He was attractive, funny, and had a great truck (yes I am a sucker for a nice truck haha). But as we talked, I became unsure about how safe a date he would be. Did he have the extra safety features Im looking for? He passed the safety check, but he what about an ABS brake system, or airbags, or a good loud horn, or the right kind of horse power.

 I went into this divorce situation expecting to find that nobody would be interested in a single mom.... but (and lets go back to our car shopping analogy again) found this really attractive mustang convertable! It had power steering, power locks, power windows... All the bells and whistles... But safety features? I really dont think so! I lamented a while about the mustang... but how safe is a mustang when you've got a baby? I think I'll be looking for one of those safer mini vans instead. My sister thinks maybe a mustnag can turn into a minivan (haha) but Im not so sure. Thats kind of what happened with D right? I was picky, but some small details I looked over, I thought our love could withstand anything... and if it had been founded in christ than it would have! ... but i think I'll be even pickier while car shopping this time.

Yeah it may be a dumb analogy, but I thought I'd share anyways. I sure hope that me talking about dating again doesnt offend anyone.... but it is really going to happen again, if I was never going to date again, I could have just stayed with D, but the point here is to be married in the temple, and I need to look for someone who can take us there.

Love you all!

Winken ;)